Trump Resistance Report - September 21, 2017

THE TRUMP RESISTANCE REPORT IS A WEEKLY REPORT PUBLISHED BY THE YOUNG & BLUE THAT SUMMARIZES THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION'S WEEKLY SHENANIGANS. WHILE IT IS INTENDED TO POKE FUN AT MANY OF THE UNCONVENTIONAL AND UNPRECEDENTED ACTIONS, IT ALSO SERVES TO EDUCATE ITS READERS AND KEEP THEM ON THEIR TOES FOR WHAT'S TO COME.

Friday, September 15, 2017 - Trump criticizes British law enforcement post-attack

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Last Friday, the world reeled as we heard the news of a terrorist attack in London after explosives were set off in the subway tunnels. Naturally, Trump was quick to follow the precedent he has set of criticizing our friends across the pond in times of mourning, such as in June when he went after the Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, following a terrorist incident at the London Bridge. The President went on yet another Twitter rampage and asserted that the perpetrators were already “in the sights of Scotland Yard” and that they failed to be “proactive.” He also took the tragedy as an opportunity the plug harsher travel and surveillance restrictions in the US. Obviously, real condolences would have been much too cliché.

Saturday, September 16, 2017 - Paris Climate confusion

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As if three deadly hurricanes in one season weren’t good enough, President Trump has further reiterated that he has no intention of remaining a member of the Paris climate deal. Uncertainty over the deal occurred briefly after a senior White House official revealed that Trump may just attempt to make changes to the commitment rather than withdraw entirely. However, the chief executive doubled-down on his decision and Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders insisted that the US would back down unless the terms were changed to be more “pro-America.” It has also been revealed that Nicaragua’s President Daniel Ortega will sign on to the deal, making the only two leaders opposed to it Donald Trump and Bashar al-Assad of Syria. Cool.
 

Monday, September 18, 2017 - Military parade being floated as Fourth of July celebration

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While reminiscing about his trip to Paris in July, President Trump floated the idea of a military parade to celebrate the next Fourth of July. The hypothetical military-industrial pissing contest was evidently proposed for the inauguration, but was ultimately scrapped after everyone realized that it was an objectively terrible idea. According to a member of the inauguration team, the parade was intended to be a “Red Square/North Korea-style” display down Pennsylvania Avenue that sounds absolutely not intimidating at all and definitely not a waste of money that could go to stuff like, you know, health care. Just throwing out ideas here, though.

Tuesday, September 20, 2017 - More threats made to North Korea

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To be honest, another foreign policy blunder from Trump was kind of expected, but still not entirely welcome. At the UN on Tuesday, the President warned North Korea that the US could “totally destroy” North Korea and that it would be a “suicide mission” to try and attack the United States. The US commander-in-chief also got a bit poetic, saying “if the righteous many do not confront the wicked few, then evil will triumph,” which, coming from him, sounds like something that would be a dead giveaway to your professor that you plagiarized your philosophy paper the night before it was due. He also gave Kim Jong Un the nickname “rocket man,” which is a little bit disappointing, because that’s honestly a pretty cool nickname to have.

Tweet of the week: Trump hitting Hillary Clinton with a golf ball

Okay, so we can't pretend like we're super shocked that this actually happened; after all, our chosen tweet of the summer also involved Trump assaulting someone. But yes, he really did retweet this, and yes, we really don't know what to say anymore either.

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